"Mama May I?"

I'm getting this out of my system...

So, The Queen has chosen that without re-taking her class, I'm not to return to the online community...

and I'm good with that.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know I'm in the right place at the right time, I know, thanks to asking for permission, that- guess what- I don't need to ask for permission...

and in the email back to me, the word sisterarchy was used... and I thought, "huh, that's a new one" Matriarchy, Patriarchy, hierarchy, ... ok ... sisterarchy (rather than sororarchy, which just has too many r's in it). And I don't know if this is now a word-part of this organization or not, but I doubt that it was made up by the person sending the email. SO, I did some thinking.

I looked up "hierarchy" on dictionary.com (convenient and excellent website) and found that the roots are "hieros" (sacred) and "archein" (rule and order).... so, now, in sisterarchy someone has coined...a Something... that's supposed to be... well what? One would think that this would be a "rule and order" of "sisters"... hmmm... but the funny thing is... this group is ironically, and supposedly, not about playing by the rules. Its in trusting yourself. Your inner wisdom.

Its about dancing to my own tune. To my own inner order... which, I am doing. Even when that inner order leads me into chaos.

anyway the whole thing seems totally ironic to me. and then to call something that was supposedly boundless a sisterarchy... thereby creating something under Rule and Order. i mean, Yech. It changes NOTHING. All the talk about Revolution... it ain't a revolution unless it really is a revolution... otherwise its just a changing of the guard... and that will get us nowhere.

I am a little cranky because I really wanted this group to be something where change truly occurs. The kind of change that does up-end "how things are done" for the betterment of all... but changing my place within the same-old-same-old is only going to be of use to the individual... the fundamental shift has gone missing in this cauldron. The ingredient of chaos just got left out of the soup.

but, I no longer am looking for the affirmation.

And I'm no longer looking for permission.

So, it really doesn't matter.

(If you are paying attention, consider it a gift from me that I didn't turn in the class' CDs in to ASCAP...I do try to not Be the hand of Fate. let the wheel turn as it will.)