Age?

When.Did.This.Happen?

???

I'm turning 35 tomorrow.

and, I've always loved my birthday. But I'm just not feeling it today.

At the moment, when I'm feeling like I haven't DONE anything really for myself for my birthday, and am torn between wanting to go hide under a rock for a while and wanting to be surrounded by loving friends.. I...

what is going on???

I'm tired of my email inboxes. Tired of the STUFF I'm surrounded by, tired of the things I want to do and be that I haven't done, and all the things I'm supposed to be doing....

I feel... my age. Like I'm looking at myself and thinking about all of the stupid things that go on from day to day. Of the meetings that when you're done you ask "What, exactly, was that For?"

I feel a deep desire to purge. And I mean without caring whether I get a receipt from the Salvation Army purge. Just get RID of stuff. Oh for a dumpster parked out in front of my house again. Like my life, and the stuff in it, just doesn't fit me anymore, and that its time for it to GO.

Is this an Equinox thing? a birthday thing? a Summer-to-Fall-to-Winter thing? a "someone else is driving me crazy" thing? I HAVE NO IDEA.

but its time. and tomorrow is recycling day. there will be a big-ass pile of magazines out in front of my apartment waiting for pick up.