Harlem, New York City, 11/4/2008

I woke up this morning early, intending to cast my vote, and get to work on time.

I was inaccurate on one thing.... that I'd be getting to work on time!

The line at my polling location snaked back, forth, back, forth, back, forth, back, forth, back, forth, back, forth... at least that much... in the gymnasium almost always previously vacant on election days. My district's line was apparently the longest, and I waited for TWO HOURS to cast my vote. The line was no shorter when I got out of it than when I got into it.

I felt a lump of pride in my throat. That people, in droves, of a variety of colors, religions, and sexual orientations, are participating in droves in this Presidential Election. That this election, however it turns out, reflects more of the diversity of the country than prior elections. The candidates represent at least 3 classes of people who have experienced discrimination (oh, wait, McCain gets 2 for his vietnam veteran status and his age) in our country's history.

My prayer, is that for the eventual victor in this race, that they are truly listening to what is really happening. The ears and eyes of the nation are on this contest more than ever before, and on what the outcomes of this contest can be. My hope is that the population will continue to be fully engaged in government and politics, and that, in the words of a quote I am so grateful was passed on to me today:
“I have to come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians” – Charles De Gaulle

My desire is that we all collectively get past the snarky emails and fear-mongering commentary, and, going forward, begin to stick to the actual issues. That this is the beginning of an increase in consciousness of our society, that, Yes, each one of us does matter, and that it is our individual responsibility to behave and lead, exactly where we are, from our personal and well-thought and well-felt ideals. That we get past our fears and hurts, and come into a place of communication and healing. That leadership is not based in gender, race, age, creed, money, or beauty. That leadership comes from each one of us, choosing what we know is right for our own self, and for knowing that others will have differing opinions, and that all perspectives are required.

I fully expect that moments of disappointment will soon come. That the realization that your candidate is human, or that the other candidate was selected in stead, will reinforce that we are each responsible for, as Ghandi said, becoming the change we wish to see. It is therefore nearly irrelevant who is in the Presidential seat if that does not happen, and it is nearly irrelevant if that does happen as well.

That the consciousness of each of us exceeds and defines the consciousness of the society, and its direction. That the old conventions only stand by and with our permission. We elect a President by our collective permission. This does not relieve us of the responsibility of our participation, going forward from today.

It is up to each of us and it always was. Be the Change.


.

My Choice. My Voice. My Vote.

I have settled on my vote for tomorrow.

I will be writing in the candidate for United States President who I believe would have been, and who may be the best person for the job. I am taking the stand I wish to take. That the candidate who I watched with interest in the primaries who handled herself as a person who I believe was well informed about the issues, and who I believe was dismissed for reasons that had less to do with politics... at least no politics that were above the skirt. And as I watched all of this unfold, and recognized that I was truly warming to a candidate who I can't say I really liked in past years in general... "That candidate has something. Means something. To me."

After this candidate stepped aside, that I listened to all of the discussions that occurred when I, an undecided, put one foot to the left, heard all the noise from the right; and when I put one foot to the right, heard all the noise from the left, of why the other party's candidate had no business in the Presidential seat. Ok fellas, I'm agreeing with ALL of you... and I am voting for someone else.

I am no longer listening to the people who say "you're throwing your vote away unless you vote for brand x or brand y". Actually, you only believe that because you want me to vote for brand x or brand y. I am done with your rhetoric. My vote is only thrown away when I vote for someone other than who I think is the best person for the job.

I have voted for minor candidates before, being, in ideology, a Libertarian (the Libertarians, by the way, were the first party to have a woman in the vice-presidential running, and the first woman who received an electoral vote for that role). I desire My vote to be meaningful. There is a voice I want to have that I am taking on in my one vote tomorrow, and it is My own voice.

I am proud that I've found my way here, in perfect time.

ode to my crankyness on ode writing

An Ode To My Crankyness On Ode Writing
having not written odes on Thighs, Wrists, Ovaries & Uterus, Breasts, and Lips.
first typed draft 10/26/08
(to be read aloud)

Viva La Resistance!
The keyboard stands empty
as unexpressed
My Lips, My Breasts,
My Thighs, My Wrists,
My Ovaries and Uterus
Their beauties in ode
repressed.

No! Say I
and No! again, No More!
Shall I dissect the sum of me
Subdivided in unliving soliloquy
For the whole is more
than that which stands alone.
For what are lips without
wrists to kiss or breasts to suck upon?
And where thighs meet
and pussyfeet to
uterus hidden throne?

Shall these sisters be
individual adorned
When apart they do not live?The same blood course
The same fate cast
the same reign shall I give!

Solomon got the whole thing write
When in his Song of Songs
He calls each piece
within her place
adorning each
with special grace
and then he trails... along...

My ostentations breast cry out,
"Nay! I want my ode!"
"Tell all the world of The Great Ta-Tas
and titties that you hold!"
Rebellious creatures. Noisy wits.
More attention do you cry?
"Yes!" she says and "Yes!" she too
"You know damn well we do!"

Dare I ask you, little wrists
your opinion on the sum?"Well" with breathy soft exhale
"Essential essence in S is yours
expression sine qua non sinuosity...
Darling, where would you be without usss?"

I bow my head, surrendering,
Neck giggles, knows
her time will come...
my lips just smile, blow me a kiss,
and say, "now, wasn't that just fun?"
"write the odes my little brain
let ego choose its part
for pleasure lays in Our embrace
so worship from the heart."

The souls of creation say "we are well pleased"Bodily manifest as ovaries
Uterian orchestration of doing the undone
Spinning worlds in flesh
of magic wells
and speaking through these ancient spells
WRITE! she calls AND WORLDS REPLY
WE WILL SPIN YOUR GOLD FROM BASIC THINGS
AND IN YOUR INKING GRANT YOU WINGS
I AM says She I CREATE.
LOVE YOUR FLESH SAY I.

The thunder from the voice of God passes,
gently, soft into night.
And the quiet pillars saying "Ssh..."
Carry all, bear all, all these parts. These thighs
say "ssh now.."
And I see their nobility
without them speaking a word.

Ode to my anger

I wandered, aimless,
dressed for sleep and sleepless,
hair unbound and feet bare
unsettled, awake in night.
Searching...

"Embrace the Power of Destruction"
gilt letters carved on a black door.
the air and door, cool to the touch,
I press my hands upon it
and enter.

Circle downward
further downward, on rich, ebony wood.
stairs worn by thousands of footsteps
empty tonight,
save for me.

Sulfur smelling in my nose
a draft of foulness
as I circle
circle
embracing the foulness
my mouth starts to water
my eyes see into the dark.

I am bathed in the fire
oneness in the dark and heat
I seethe, I feel, I ache, I scream
my skin and flesh enraged as I hear
all my children
all my mothers
all my Selves
shrieking in the terrors greeting us all
I feed upon the pain
I am engulfed and destroyed
growing strong in wanton bloodlust
immortal and unbound...

I am Queen of Hell

I am loosed upon the earth.

Holy Terror, Waking Madness, Pure Desolation,
I rip the ground, I set fire to your sky
All you who ever tried to abandon
the Truth
of that which is Dark.

I rip the throat out of the lie you tell yourself
I gut you and feed your belly to the fire
I tear down your edifice. your persona.
I will never Never leave you at peace
you will make your amends to me
cry for mercy
and still... I shall come for you.

I am your mother.
In darkness you were formed and fed off of my body
you shall return to me.

I am your sister.
raped by life and ignorance, and left a living shell
encasing the small unquenched flame of fury

I am your insatiable child
the hunger that screams at night for more
the deep well of shrieking silence

I am myself.
My body... containing the black and unknowable void
the unassailable vaccuum and the life giving furnace.

I am reborn.

I wake...
daybright and lucid
hair unbound and feet bare
my hand on my belly
wiser now for all that is and has been unmade.
all that is mine.
I am Queen of Heaven.

The Undecided Voter

I am

the undecided voter.

I have PLENTY of people telling me why I should vote for, and not vote for, and why, why, why...

Apparently neither John McCain nor Barack Obama are fit to be in office for a variety of reasons. Just ask the supporters of Barack Obama and John McCain.

McCain is charged with all kinds of stuff (sample):
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/make_believe_maverick_the_real_john_mccain

Barack Obama is charged with all kinds of stuff (sample): http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=190343


anybody got any ideas on how to determine, and discern the actual truth?

They're Ripping Up Wall Street

Wall Street (from Broad to Williams) and Broad Street (in front of the Exchange), are currently under construction. Literally.

I cannot but wonder of & at the feng shui / metaphysical / metaphorical implications of this. I'm sure part of the project is for security measures as they've been doing in this neighborhood for some time, but it looks like infrastructure (piping and conduit and such) is being handled or replaced at the same time... foot traffic (energy flow) is being hampered through the streets leading to/from the exchange's front door.

What happens when you relocate a plant or drop a pair of shoes in the entrance hallway? you bump into it or trip over it... why wouldn't energy (chi) do the same with this???

Desires 9.26.08

I desire a fantastic umbrella Compact, pretty (like my Parisian tourist umbrella), and very able to handle the wind gusts on NYC and Paris streets!
I desire really great galoshes!I desire to swim with dolphins!
I desire a silver engraved nameplate with black lettering for my cubicle (I already have the holder) 8"x2"x0.0625"I desire to go snorkeling during an adventure on an amazing sailboat in the carribean
I desire to become completely fluent in French.
I desire to cruise the Greek Isles!
I desire to be treated to dinner at Chez Napoleon, and have a fantastic conversation with the Chef Grand-mere!
I desire to wrap my Beloved around my finger!
I desire to be treated to dinner at Candle 79! Complete with all courses, including, especially what weve nicknamed the "chocolate orgasm cake"
I desire a really sweet ride a limousine, or Rolls Royce, or a Jaguar, or a great convertible, to provide transportation to and from my home and hotel for the Professional Engineering (PE) exam.
I desire next year to take the PE exam once and pass it, becoming a P.E., and having my very own seal!
I desire this year to take the LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) exam once and pass it, becoming a LEED Accredited Professional!
I desire great new hair accessories, especially the big metal hair pins with the jewels on top.
I desire diamonds!
I desire the gift of a new juicy IPod with a huge capacity.
I desire everything else I require for Movie Nights, including a new table for the new TV and a new rack for my components (mission-style with honey-oak finish), to be delivered to my apartment effortlessly!